I keep explaining to myself....

I am sure now that I am NOT in love with B. I was thinking about how I would explain our relationship to some friends of mine, whom I know will ask about us, and I know I would never tell them that I love him. I think I would say something like this, "I have always been attracted to B. It has just always been there, the attraction. However I have a tendency to take things too close to heart. A look from a cute boy can give me the idea that he migth be flirting with me, even if I know he probably is not. But with B, we are just very comfortable with eachother and have an unsaid understanding. When we dated we were sometimes very public with our affections and now, even though we do not do the things we did then (i.e. hold hands, sit extremely close together, kiss, etc.), I am still comfortable with him doing things like putting his hand on the smal of my back or rubbing my shoulder. And the reason that I can allow him to do this without getting the idea that his actions mean more is that, well, he makes similar actions with his mom and sister. It is just how B is. Not to mention, he is in love with someone, and it looks like he will be in deep for a long, long time." I hope I am a better liar than people say I am.